Nylon Bygones

I promised to make my kids a few minnow-catching nets this summer.

“How do you make them?” my daughter asked.

“Clothes hangers and pantyhose.”

“What are pantyhose?”

“Nylons.”

“What are nylons?”

And then I realized the best benefit to the writing life: I never, ever have to wear nylons. My daughter doesn’t even know what they are.

I love that.

Friday story time

I spend many of my days researching, and I often come across strange and fascinating tales that don’t quite fit in my books. Thus, Friday story time is born. Because really, does a great story need a reason? This week’s tidbit is one I considered for True Stories from the Edge: Rescues!, back in the day. It eventually lost out to a different Italian tale. Personally, though, I like the romance of this one better.

951 A.D.
Adelaide lay awake in her bed, listening to the rhythmic chip, chip against the stone. He was getting close. Would it be tonight that he finally broke through? She prayed that none of the guards outside the walls could hear the sounds of digging.

For months, Adelaide and her maid had lived as prisoners in a remote castle on the shores of Lake Garda in northern Italy. She wasn’t used to this sort of lonely life. As the daughter of Rudolph II, King of Burgundy, she had spent her days in plush audience chambers or grand dining halls. When she was two years old, she had been betrothed to a prince named Lothar. She married him at 16, and together they ruled Italy.

That life was over now. A jealous duke, Margrave Berengar of Ivrea, had poisoned her husband and seized the throne. Now Berengar was spending her treasury money, even selling her jewels.

Of course, Berengar had made it clear that there was one way for Adelaide to escape. She merely had to agree to marry his son, Adalbert. That would put all of Adelaide’s lands into Berengar’s control and cement his claim to the Italian throne.

With no intention of ever marrying Adelbert, Adelaide was putting her hope in another option. Her priest, one of the few people allowed to visit her in exile, had been building an underground tunnel for the last four months. Every night, she could feel him getting closer. Until finally, with Adelaide and her maid both scrabbling at the inside wall and the priest digging from the outside, the tunnel broke through. There was just enough room for the two women to squeeze out, race down the tight passageway, and escape into a waiting rowboat.

Adelaide found refuge with nobleman Adalbert Azzo of Canossa… until Berengar heard the news.

Furious, Berenger brought his troops bearing down on Canossa’s land, surrounding the castle and demanding Adelaide’s release. He was absolutely determined to hold onto the throne of Italy, and for his claim to be legitimate, he needed Adelaide under his control.

Inside, Adelaide was just as determined as ever to escape Berengar’s grasp. She would never ally herself with the man who had killed her husband. But she was also in a desperate situation, putting Canossa and his people at risk.

Marriage seemed the only way out.

But not marriage to the killer’s son. Instead, Adelaide sent a man to steal away from the castle and slip through Berengar’s troops. The man bore a message to Otto the Great, King of Germany. Adelaide knew that Otto wanted to control all of Germany, Burgundy, and Italy. And she offered him the only valuable thing she had — her hand in marriage. If Otto would bring his army to Italy, conquer the forces of Berengar, and rescue her from imprisonment, she would marry him. And with a single signature on the marriage papers, he would control all the lands of northern Italy.

Otto the Great said “I do” by bearing down on Italy with his powerful army – the largest in Europe at the time. In September 951, he scattered Berengar’s forces and sent the usurper scurrying into the Alps. For the second time in a single year, Adelaide was rescued from a castle and whisked away to safety.

Within a few weeks, Otto and Adelaide were officially married. She continued to rule her traditional lands on their behalf, and together the couple added to their holdings. By 962, eleven years after their marriage, they had five children and controlled all of Germany, Burgundy, and Italy. They traveled to Rome, where the pope crowned them emperor and empress of the reborn Holy Roman Empire.

Jitters

Anywhere But Here has been getting some exciting pre-publication attention. It was featured in Quill & Quire’s fall preview last week, as well as at Canlit for Little Canadians.

But the closer we get to the release date, the more nervous I get!

When you hatch a baby, it doesn’t matter if it’s ugly and wrinkly — everyone tells you it’s the most beautiful creature they’ve ever seen. But when you hatch a book, everyone goes on-line and tells you exactly what they think. Ack!

I said this to two writer friends last week, and they responded:

“I know!”

“My book got a bad Kirkus review. I felt terrible!”

“Why is it so hard to get past 4 on Goodreads?”

“Another friend of mine got horrible comments on Amazon.”

This was NO HELP AT ALL.

It seems there’s nothing to be done. I have to wait for four more months with fingers crossed, hoping you’ll love my baby as much as I do!

In the meantime, I’m off to read someone else’s baby: Vikki VanSickle’s Summer Days, Starry Nights. I’m pretty sure this one’s going to be just as wonderful as a newborn book should be.

What not to do

Remember last week when I shared my fierce outlining strategies that were going to get me through the final chapter of my manuscript? Well, consider that the “do” list. This week, I bring you the “don’ts.”

If you want to finish your book, do not:

1. Download the ridiculously addictive Word Seek app and then rage when you land in the 50th percentile, again and again and again.

2. Buy the latest epic fantasy, thinking you’ll only read it in the evenings. Damn you, Guy Kay.

3. Let your child get strep throat.

In my defence, that third one was entirely out of my control. And, in a manic fit of efficiency, I did indeed finish my last chapter on Friday.

Now I have ten days to make the manuscript approximately one billion times more fun and interesting.

Go!

Friday story time

I spend many of my days researching, and I often come across strange and fascinating tales that don’t quite fit in my books. Thus, Friday story time is born. Because really, does a great story need a reason? Here’s this week’s tidbit:

All day, the prisoners of Auschwitz stacked wood, lumber intended to expand the Nazi death camp in Poland. But the prisoners built the woodpile extra-carefully. In the center, they left just enough space for two men to lie side-by-side.

That afternoon, Alfred Wetzler and Rudolf Vrba slid into the opening and their fellow prisoners covered the entrance. The men hid for four days, while soldiers searched the surrounding woods.

Finally, the men slid out and escaped beneath the camp’s outer wires. They walked 80 miles to safety, using a map torn from a child’s atlas. Wetzler and Vrba later created a detailed report and a map of Auschwitz, allowing the Allies an inside view of the camp.

Tooth pulling

I’m on the final chapter of my new non-fiction manuscript and yeesh… where does the time go? (Well… to school field trips and beach days instead of writing, it seems!)

In these last stages, when the deadline’s looming and my motivation is dwindling, I have to stop putting the general “write” on my to-do list and start focussing:

- Write two sidebars
- Write three paragraphs of psychological background
- Finish two pages of chapter five story

And, of course:

- Make cupcakes

I find cupcakes rather important for achieving that final chapter.

The long wait

My sister had a baby boy a couple weeks ago, making me an official auntie. We’ve been over to visit the little munchkin and he is 100% adorable.

He’s also 100% high-maintenance. Wow! How did I ever write with one (or two) of those creatures in the house?

On the way back from their own baby visit, my parents stopped in for the weekend. I gave them an ARC of Anywhere But Here, and they asked the same question everyone’s been asking me lately:

Why is it taking so long?

Well, I told them about the sales staff, and conferences, and advance reviews, but really I wanted to jump up and down and bat my fists in the air and say, “I don’t know! Why is it taking so looooooong?”

In the meantime, while I wait for that October 15 release date, I think I’d better appreciate my six hours a day of child-free quiet, and work harder on the next book.

As for my sister, well, she has lots of baby love to look forward to. And I’m sure she’ll enjoy some quiet time, too… in about five more years.

Friday Story Time

My story this week isn’t exactly a story… more of an artifact. I tagged along on my daughter’s school field trip to Burnaby Village Museum, where, in between reprimanding badly behaved boys, I discovered this:

cheeseslicer

It’s a “computerized” cheese slicer from 1901, made by… IBM. It measures, weighs, slices, and prices your purchase.

Of course, I came home and immediately googled IBM to see if they really made cheese slicers. Apparently, they did.

Since I was much more interested in Burnaby Village Museum than most of the kids, I’m heading back as soon as possible — with only my own monkeys in tow, this time.

I’m an evil book stealer

I’d just finished a few hours of late-night revising. I wanted something easy to read. Something fun. And my daughter had been raving about the book she was reading. The book she was right in the middle of reading…

I did.

I snuck into her room, stole the book from her end table, read the first half, and then replaced the book before morning.

And the next night, I did the same thing.

I am thoroughly (kind of) ashamed of myself. Especially when she’s so nicely offered me the book to read, now that she’s finished it.

tuesdays