My daughter and I tried our hand at some story writing recently, inspired by her little brother. For your Monday entertainment, I present: Oliver’s Underpants.
Oliver refused to wear pants.
This wasn’t a problem when he was a baby. But when Oliver started kindergarten, the other kids laughed at him.
“We can see your underwear,” they said. “We can see the polkadots!”
The teacher shook her head. “Oliver, when we go to school, we wear pants,” she said.
Oliver’s mother pleaded. “All the other boys and girls wear pants to school,” she said.
Oliver didn’t care. He went to school in his underwear, and when the other kids pointed, he shrugged.
“Pants are too hot. They pinch at the waist,” he said. “And they itch at the knees.”
The kids stopped laughing. Pants were hot. They did pinch. And they did itch.
The next day, Oliver’s whole class came to school in their underwear. Some wore underwear with stars, and some wore underwear with superheroes. One little girl wore pink giraffes.
The teacher called an emergency meeting.
“All students must wear pants,” said the principal.
“All students must wear pants,” said the teacher the next morning.
“Pants are too hot,” said Oliver.
“Pants pinch,” said a girl in a penguin-patterned undershirt.
“Pants itch,” said a boy in dinosaur briefs.
The next day, the teacher came to school in her underwear.
The day after that, all the other teachers came to school in their underwear. And so did the principal.
The day after that… well, no one wears pants in Oliver’s town anymore. Some wear stripes. Some wear cowboy stars and lassos. Some wear purple bunny panties with fuzzy purple slippers.
They’re all very comfortable.
And Oliver? He’s decided shoes are uncomfortable, too.