Dear Query Shark…

I’m reading Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed, by Jared Diamond. I ordered this from the library in a fit of reading motivation. It’s a tome. If I can’t manage to read it, I can use it for chest presses.

The intro was quite engaging. And it included this, which made me laugh:

“…here is how this book is organized. Its plan resembles a boa constrictor that has swallowed two very large sheep.”

I’m sure Jared Diamond is far beyond the query-letter-writing career phase. But can you imagine that sentence in a submission?

On the other hand, at least he’s honest. Maybe I should rewrite my latest cover letter to read, “I had originally intended my novel to have a plot, but decided on the organizational system of a centipede, with multiple semi-related bulges.”

Do you think that would work?