The Tuesday Tell-All

This week’s CWILL BC question is: How do you prepare for school presentations? Do you get stage fright?

Because I’m home with the munchkins most days, I only do school presentations when a teacher or librarians hunts me down and requests one. I am hopeful that one day, when I do more, I will be better prepared and find them less nerve-wracking. My present technique is to accept, spend hours preparing, and then sleep less and less as the day approaches. When I wake up on the final morning, my brain is generally doing this:

Why did I agree to this? What were they thinking? Surely there are more entertaining writers… like, ones that can speak in complete sentences without stuttering. This was a bad idea. They’re going to hate me. Yup, definitely going to hate me. Maybe if I wear this blue shirt… nope, they’ll still think I’m old. And boring. And they’ll make fun of me for stuttering. I think I’m getting acne. Hey, there are two bridges between me and the school. If there were to be a massive earthquake, right now, I bet they’d cancel. Please let there be an earthquake. Except, let my house and family be okay. Not in that order, God. Ack, time to go. Did I eat? I think I forgot. Now I’m going to pass out in the middle of the presentation. And then everyone will point and laugh. Oh wait, I had breakfast. That means I’ll probably throw up. I think I have a fever. Might be one of those African viruses. If I’m contagious, they’ll definitely want to cancel.

And then I get to the school and everything goes perfectly, and no one throws spit balls. At least, not until next time.

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