Conversation #1: How to alienate your children’s minister
I went to a stagette Saturday night, then had to volunteer at Sunday school in the morning, in a room of 38 four- and five-year-olds. Not something I would recommend.
Minister: Did it go okay in here?
Me: It was an insane asylum.
Daughter: Mommy, what’s an insane asylum?
Me: Where they put crazy people.
Not my most politically correct moment. It’s possible I won’t be invited back.
Crazy Conversation #2: Are they in Oz?
I went to see Jacquie Pearce at Word on the Street, but I couldn’t find the right tent and I had to ask at the information booth.
Me: I was looking for the kids’ tent…
Woman at desk: It blew away. With all the kids still inside.
Woman: They retrieved the kids. But not the tent.
Conversation #3: Overheard at Starbucks
This is so going into my next novel.
Barrista A: I just saw a documentary about it. They absorb energy from the sun.
Barrista B: From the sun?
Barrista A: There was this one man in the movie? He hadn’t eaten food in six years. He got all his nutrients from the sun.
Barrista B: But you can’t get, like, calcium and iron from the sun.
Barrista A: He did. It was a kind of meditation, and he just stared at the sun and he, like, absorbed it all.
That’s my plan for today. Skip lunch. Stare at the sun.