Let’s play two truths and a lie, okay? I’ll post three things here, and you decide which two are true.

1. I am attempting to create a website, without actually knowing anything about hosting and ftp and html and a whole bunch of other things one apparently understands automatically if one is born after, say, 1980. I’m pretty sure I know what the first letter of ftp stands for, and it’s not “file.”

2. In university, I was an aerobics instructor. I wore spandex, and scrunchies, and said things like “One more… two more… and going into a kick back… now!… Great job!” into a headset microphone. This was actually quite fun and if aerobics were in fashion, I would probably be around the corner right now, step-arabesque-ing instead of blogging.

3. I’m launching a new business called MoveYourMom.com. Our highly trained and soothing staff will host your garage sale, arrange rubbish removal, hire realtors, obtain quotes from moving companies, liaise with contractors, and unpack all materials at your mom’s new home. At the end of that process, we would be happy to provide complimentary family and relationship counseling.

Best of luck!