I think San Diego Momma created this week’s PrompTuesday just for me. The assignment is to write a letter of complaint. Hello! I could write about ten of those in ten minutes or less.

Here’s my contribution:

Dear Safeway:

I’m writing to respectfully request that you close your store on 4th Avenue and Vine, thus freeing room in the neighborhood for… well… better stores.

You see, every time I go into your establishment, I’m appalled in new ways. There was that time a couple months ago when I listened as the teller yelled obscenities at the homeless man returning his bottles. (I did complain to the manager at that point, but never managed to write the follow-up letter I intended to send.)

Then there was the young check-out clerk who looked at my cloth grocery bags and sighed. “You’re going to have to help fill these because it takes way longer and you’re holding up the whole line.” You’ll be pleased to know that I resisted smacking his 19-year-old cheeks and saying, “Look, buddy, you’re going to be around for 20 years more than I am. Who do you think I’m using these bags for?”

I stopped by your store at 10 p.m. last night for toilet paper. (I notice you don’t carry the recycled brand, by the way. You’re also out of basil.) Most of your clients appeared to be college students. I wonder if you should just drop the pretense of selling groceries at all, and open a dance hall.

Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Tanya Kyi