I just listened to a very funny Authors Like Us podcast, in which James McCann and Arthur Slade discuss writing to heavy metal music.

Like them, I grew up in the hair band era. In grade 10, when I set out to become cool, I went out and bought five or six cassettes. I believe I had Motley Crue (still kinda in love with them), Poison, Heart, ACDC and Taylor Dane.

My friend Michelle sat down to peruse my purchases and offered this assessment:

“These are good. This is a start. But what you’re really going to need is GN’R.”

Ah, Axl.

When I think of Guns N’ Roses these days, I think of Jesse in grade 11 social studies, being asked by the rest of us: “Jesse, how do you explain ‘mellow’?” And Jesse, oh-so-cool (seriously) in his tight jeans and mullet, pausing for a long moment and then drawling “passive.” Then all of us nodding as if the gods had spoken. (Jesse could also whistle all of Patience. Perfectly.)

Since the end of high school I have been completely musically illiterate. I haven’t written to music since my high school creative writing classes, either. But who knows? Maybe it’s time to give the McCann-Slade technique a try.