Public Service Announcement

If you have a five-year-old boy and a copy of Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, and if you have a seven-year-old who needs to be picked up at school, you should not go to the school fifteen minutes early with thoughts of reading aloud in the sunshine. Because if there are, hypothetically, kindergarteners in the playground, you will find them gathered around you, giggling maniacally while you say words such as monkeyburger and boogernose. Then, when they are called by their teacher, said hypothetical kindergarteners will run off chanting “boogernose, boogernose.”

This message brought to you by the Department of Uber Mom Blunders (DUMB).

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