While we were on the island this weekend, I went to pour shampoo on my three-year-old son’s head and he grabbed my wrist.

“Mommy, that kind has chemicals.”

I swear. That’s what he said. Which leads me to think my son hears more than I think he does as I storm around the house clearing out the phthalates. And also leads me to worry that I’m indoctrinating my children with information that’s going to cause them ulcers later in life.

Is it okay to tell your kids that some shampoo is evil, as long as there’s a friendly-looking, non-evil option to squirt on their heads? (You are all welcome to weigh in on this issue.)

Oh, and I doused him with the phthalates, despite his chemical concerns. We were on vacation. He was dirty. And a cow had licked him. Who’s to say a little chemical treatment wasn’t in order?