I’m speaking to a Brownie troop this week. I’m not sure how this happened. One minute, I was volunteering at my kids’ pancake breakfast and chatting to another mom. The next minute, I was agreeing to be a guest speaker at a January meeting.

Here’s the problem: I am a failed Brownie. I had desperately wanted to be a Brownie so I could wear that brown dress and sash to school every Tuesday, with my jeans rolled up underneath. But when I actually joined, my leaders (owls? why are they owls?) kept yammering on about getting these badges, without specifically explaining what I had to do to get these badges, or why I would want to.

After three weeks, I couldn’t take it any longer. I quit. In the car after that final meeting, I got a big lecture from my mom about not quitting activities. But I must have won, because I never went back.

I’m considering telling this week’s Brownie troop that they should focus on careers other than writing. Any kid willing to follow that many directions and jump through that many hoops to earn useless badges is too comfortable with authority to become a writer.

Min tells me this would be an inappropriate presentation. But he quit his Scout troop after three meetings, too, so who is he to talk?