Monthly Archives: May 2011

From the vault

To prove that talent has nothing to do with the pursuit of a professional writing career, here’s a sample of my grade four storytelling abilities, courtesy of my dad.

The Secret Formula

One day Professor Pete comes running by you and thrusts a strange bottle of liquid in your hand.

1) The colour of the liquid in the bottle is:
purple and green

2) The smell of the liquid is like:
roten egg or sometimes a rose

3) One very strange thing about this secret liquid is:
every 60 minutes it changes color and smell like a rose

4) Quite by accident the bottle drops to the floor with a crash. The liquid is spilled all over. All of a sudden the most unusual thing begins to happen:
I open my bedroom door and my room is full of hats. I find a crab in the sink

Use the facts you have just completed and finish this story which is started for you…

My strange discovery of the secret formula came quite by accident. It all happened the day I dropped the bottle containing the mysterious liquid. Then right before my eyes…
it dissapered along with all the maps in the world. The children taght the teachers, everyone forgot the metric system & space. when I went to bed the light wouldn’t turn off. I finale got to sleep at 11:36 p.m. When I got up I went to see Proffesser Pete.
He said the liquid (whith was called oh-oh)”whore off in 48 hours”. “Oh no” I said,”I have to put up with this another day”! When i went home a crab was in the sink. I wathed T.V.for a hour. when I turned off the T.V. everything was normall again.

Hmmm… what kind of drugs was I taking in grade four? Thank goodness the liquid “whore off” when it did!

When Skype goes bad

After a telephone meeting earlier this week, I received this e-mail from my publisher:

I was asked to send you the link to download Skype (not that you wouldn’t be able to find it on your own, but here it is): https://login.skype.com/account/signup-form?application=download&return_url=http://www.skype.com/go/downloading-page&intcmp=join. It would be great if you could sign up for an account. And we could see you on video, to make sure you’re not rolling your eyes while we’re talking. (Just kidding, we don’t normally use video. But if we wanted to see what you’re wearing, we could!)

Well, let’s not even talk about what I’m wearing some days and just hope Google Earth isn’t looking into my living room window. But here’s a bigger problem. During the impromptu telephone meeting, I was frantically scribbling revision notes and forgot to take the chocolate chip cookies out of the oven, which caused some silent cursing and oven mitt waving. AND, as soon as I answered the phone and appeared distracted for oh… a nanosecond… my son decided that it would be a good time to pull out the splatter paint kit from Christmas and do some self-supervised painting in the kitchen.

Whenever I complain about something like this to my mom, she says, “Oh, you’re just lucky you have cordless phones nowadays.” Yes. It’s true that it would be more difficult to control splatter painting had I been attached to the wall by my ear. But… Skype? I’m just not sure how this cookie-crisping, splatter-paint controlling, revision-scribbling fashion nightmare would go, should it be broadcast live over the internet.

I think I’ll just go outside naked and wait for the satellite to spot me.

The writing process, n-f style

Non-fiction has its own distinct writing process. There’s that stellar outline, for one. And the signed contract — always a bonus. But there are other differences as well. Here’s what I’ve come up with for the basic cycle:

1. Research until my brain falls apart and I have masses of mainly unorganized information.
2. Panic, because nothing is written.
3. Begin writing.
4. Panic, because I don’t have enough research.
5. Actually organize research.
6. Write more.
7. Research more.
8. Write more.
9. Panic, because research-to-page transition has made everything excruciatingly boring.
10. Unborify.

It’s possible my projects would go more quickly if I skipped stages 2, 4, and 9. I’ll have to experiment…

A special guest star (and a book giveaway)!

Guess what?!? One of my favourite authors, Jacqueline Pearce, has stopped by in the midst of a blog tour to promote her new chapter book, Mystery of the Missing Luck.

You’ll see below that Jacquie wonders why she chose to talk about food on my blog. Well, she’s obviously psychic and can tell that I love Asian bakeries and basically lived off that soft, sweet, white bread for three entire weeks on an exchange trip to Tokyo. (My 15-year-old self did not exactly embrace new cultural experiences.)

Enough about me. Here’s a guest post from Jacquie! (And hey, don’t be shy about leaving a comment and entering Jacquie’s contest. The more comments, the more hospitable I seem!)

Thanks for having me, Tanya! I’m not sure why I felt compelled to talk about the food link to my new story on your blog (perhaps it’s the image of peas, or the homey feel), but here goes…

I love old-fashioned bakeries. When I was a kid, my best friend and I used to walk downtown every Saturday to buy craft supplies and stop at our favourite bakery. It was one of those traditional old bakeries — family-owned, on a street of independent shops, pastries and cookies in the window, bell that jingled when you opened the door. The owner, Mr. Janssen-Steenberg, used to always save me the biggest, best piece of apple strudel (or so he claimed). The bakery in my new chapter book, Mystery of the Missing Luck, is that kind of bakery, but with a slight twist: the baked goods are Japanese.

Bread was actually brought to Japan in the 19th century from Portugal. The Japanese word for bun, “pan,” is from the Portuguese word. Japanese bakers, however, revised the bread recipe to suit Japanese tastes, using a traditional liquid yeast (related to sake-making, I think) and adding fillings such as red bean paste and green tea flavoured cream. Sara, the main character in my story, loves the an-pan (bun filled with red bean paste) her grandmother makes at the bakery. The first time I tasted something made with red bean paste in Japan, I didn’t like it that much, but I’ve developed a taste for it since. And who can resist a bun that has a cartoon character named after it? Anpan Man, the hero with a bun for a head, has been popular in Japan since 1968.

In the previous stop on my blog tour I talked a bit about how I came to write the book, and promised to reveal why someone once graffitied the words “there is no pie in Toronto” on the road in front of my house. It really has nothing to do with my new book, except that by now you may have gathered that I have a sweet tooth, and enjoyed visiting bakeries as part of the research for my story. In my younger years, I developed a reputation for a love of baked goods — particularly pie. The morning I left Vancouver Island to attend university in Toronto, the mysterious “no pie” goodbye was scrawled on the road (luckily, the warning didn’t prove to be accurate). My reputation now is more as a chocolate aficionado, but that’s another story.

Please leave a comment below for a chance to win a copy of Mystery of the Missing Luck. For some background on the “lucky cat” component of the story, check out my post on the blog of author kc dyer and the Lucky Cat contest on my own blog.

Jacquie

Just thinking about potential natural disasters… again

In a choice between earthquake risk and tornado risk, I think I’d have to take earthquake. (Knocking on wood and frantically crossing myself after typing this sentence.)

Check out this Scientific American video about tornadoes. Apparently, they have no idea why some storms make tornadoes and some don’t. And, meteorologists provide warnings a maximum of 13 minutes in advance. Get safe in those 13 minutes, or hope for a trip to Oz and a squished witch.

On bad bugs and killer fish

I read Amy Stewart’s Wicked Plants as part of my research for 50 Poisonous Questions. She’s now released Wicked Bugs… and an entertaining video trailer to go with it.






And, for your viewing pleasure, I bring you this video about waterskiing and hunting Asian carp. Yes, you read that correctly. One of Brandy’s recent posts reminded my of my dad saying, “watch out for the sturgeons!” every time I wiped out on water skis. If only I had worn armour, like these guys…






Whew. You can thank me later for that dose of high-brow culture.